I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
