i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
