how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
