No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
pray to the hookup gods
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
