Your dad touched me again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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