I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
