We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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