dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
