what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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