There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Even my vagina gasped.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
