Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
