i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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