She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
