Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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