I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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