At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
