Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize