Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
