I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
