plz talk dirty to me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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