We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She bit a glass in half.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
