we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
