You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
