Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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