I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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