why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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