his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
