at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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