I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
