I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
