hotel room ftw
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
