But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
