we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
