i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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