I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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