she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
