Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
