So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
