i don't like sucking hair
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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