Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
