I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
