i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
