if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
