No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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