I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
