All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
