The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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