I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
