i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
