i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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