Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
