those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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