I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
