I feel like abortions should bother me more
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
