i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize