You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
