dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
