i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
