I have demons in me.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
