fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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