you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
