help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
