There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
God I need to hump something, right now.
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